rymenhild

Tonight I dragged

prosewitch to a reading of Megillat Esther - the Biblical text read on Purim. People come in costume to hear (and/or read sections of, which I did) the text, drown out the villain's name (Haman), get drunk and party. I had a great time. I hope it wasn't too much of a culture shock for poor

prosewitch, though. The Purim story's a raucous one, involving drunken parties, nudity, eunuchs, concubines, false accusations of rape, and a failed genocide of the Jews that culminates with the Jews massacring their would-be attackers. I remember how shocked I was when I realized that the nice gentle story about the new queen of Persia being chosen through a beauty contest, as told by my nursery school teachers, is not actually in the text of Esther. King Ahasuerus actually chooses his nice new bride based on her performance in bed. One rather feels sorry for all the other former virgins competing for the king's favor, who get locked up in the house of the concubines and guarded by eunuchs for the rest of their presumably sexless lives.

I was having a conversation with

greythistle today in which she delicately suggested that the late twelfth-century Cambro-Norman historians Gerald of Wales and Walter Map would make a great slash pairing. When I had finished boggling at the idea, I realized she was right. (Far be it from me to correct

greythistle on an issue of medieval Norman historiography!) I can see it now: Gerald/Walter OTP. My fandom makes fun of anyone who has a better ecclesiastical post.

This, of course, led me to wonder who else in the medieval British Isles shared a hitherto unrecognized true love. The three deore sustren (dear sisters) to whom the Ancrene Wisse was addressed, perhaps? The AW-author tells us in so many words, "Some have been tempted by their own sisters." Or maybe some nameless anchoress and her confessor? That would be het, but at least forbidden. Theirloveissowhisperedthroughthechurchwindow.

But no, the real OTP in the Ancrene Wisse is Anchoress/Christ. The text tells us that Christ dies in battle for the love of the lady, and given his great sacrifice, she owes it to him to love him back. The only problem is that Christ has far too many lovers. I can definitely see the catfights among the heavenly virgins. Nyah nyah, Christ loves me more than he loves you.

Even putting aside the Lion in Winter Richard Coeur de Leon/Philip Augustus, there have got to be huge numbers of pairings in medieval England and the British Isles not yet explored. Geoffrey of Monmouth/Archdeacon Walter? Cloud-author/Walter Hilton? Julian of Norwich/Margery Kempe?

Bad mental image. Bad mental image. Brain hurts. Going to sleep now.