Some thoughts
Nov. 7th, 2008 07:04 pmYou all know I'm unhappy, and even angry, that California's Proposition 8 passed. Most of you probably know that I'm a lesbian California voter who believes in marriage as an institution and would like to get married, to a woman, at some point in my future. I'm watching the legal challenges to Prop 8 and looking for anything I can do to help return marriage equality to California and to other parts of the United States.
That said, I want to say something else. I am seriously uncomfortable with the rising anti-Mormonism I'm seeing among supporters of same-sex marriage. Whatever Mormon church leadership did or didn't do to support the marriage ban, we who care about GLBT rights should not be scapegoating religious (or ethnic or racial - I've seen that too) groups for the success of Prop 8.
Casting blame is not going to help us. Making enemies of religious people isn't going to get us anywhere. Making friends with people who've never knowingly met non-heterosexuals before, on the other hand, is a proven way to change people's votes. Look at the difference between the 61.4% vote for a same-sex marriage ban in 2000 and the 52.5% vote in 2008. These numbers changed because voters met the male couples who lived in their neighborhoods, or learned that their cousins were bisexual, or saw Ellen deGeneres and George Takei Altman on TV. The numbers aren't good enough yet, I know, but picking fights with those people (whoever those people may happen to be) is not going to improve them.
If you disagree with me, feel free to say so -- but please do so politely. Thank you.
That said, I want to say something else. I am seriously uncomfortable with the rising anti-Mormonism I'm seeing among supporters of same-sex marriage. Whatever Mormon church leadership did or didn't do to support the marriage ban, we who care about GLBT rights should not be scapegoating religious (or ethnic or racial - I've seen that too) groups for the success of Prop 8.
Casting blame is not going to help us. Making enemies of religious people isn't going to get us anywhere. Making friends with people who've never knowingly met non-heterosexuals before, on the other hand, is a proven way to change people's votes. Look at the difference between the 61.4% vote for a same-sex marriage ban in 2000 and the 52.5% vote in 2008. These numbers changed because voters met the male couples who lived in their neighborhoods, or learned that their cousins were bisexual, or saw Ellen deGeneres and George Takei Altman on TV. The numbers aren't good enough yet, I know, but picking fights with those people (whoever those people may happen to be) is not going to improve them.
If you disagree with me, feel free to say so -- but please do so politely. Thank you.
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Date: 2008-11-08 12:51 am (UTC)I'm living proof of your second paragraph, to some extent. My godmother's gay, and she has had a big influence on my perception in certain ways.
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 12:53 am (UTC)I do not blame individual Mormons. I note with pleasure and encouragement the objection by Steve Young to his church's activities. But the Mormons who contributed to this outrage? We are never going to persuade them. Yes, there is a great deal to be done to engage with non-gay people. But these are not the ones whose opinions we can alter. These, we must shine a light on, identify, marginalize, allow to quite literally die off as they inevitably must, because only the generation that grew up with gay people on TV as an unremarkable thing (and that's, really, people born after 1990 or possibly even 2000) will truly accept us.
Yes, improve the numbers. But part of that is also removing the ability of hatemongers to act too.
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Date: 2008-11-08 01:29 am (UTC)I think that singling out the Mormons for losing their tax exempt status is a bit tough to justify. They do not seem to me abnormally involved in politics, and the bar is (and ought to be) lower for ballot initiatives than for political candidates.
I mean, there are things I find upsetting about their conduct here. But I don't think they're particularly worth singling out of the general mass of evangelical conservatism.
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Date: 2008-11-08 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:15 am (UTC)Thanks!
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:42 am (UTC)This isn't slander. It's not even libel, because the best defence against a charge of slander or libel is the fact that it's the truth. Which it is, well-documented truth. And "years-outdated"? I don't consider there to be a statute of limitation for hooking someone's penis and testicles up to the mains and electrocuting them for loving the wrong person.
Yeah, the difference between irony and snideness doesn't come across well in text. Trust me, I am equally ironic (or snide! Take your pick) about the hypocrisy, historic and present, of the KOCs, Dobson and the FOF, the Catholic Bishops and the CWA.
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:29 am (UTC)Repeating: the LDS and individual Mormons, mostly living outside CA, contributed $19 million dollars, four out of every five spent promoting Prop 8. I wouldn't mind seeing them lose tax-exempt status, if they want to use their influence to put their thumbs on the scale to that degree.
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:37 am (UTC)I was just reacting to I don't think they're particularly worth singling out of the general mass of evangelical conservatism.
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Date: 2008-11-08 03:30 am (UTC)I mean, don't get me wrong - I'm very, very creeped out by that campaign, and I find stories like the Mormon family who wiped out most of their savings donating to Yes on 8 downright disturbing. I have serious ethical issues with any faith that would teach its adherents that they have a moral obligation to do something like that.
But unfortunately, I fail to see anything unique about them compared to the Catholics, large swaths of evangelical Protestant groups, etc. The scale of this operation is nothing out of like with what Dobson and Focus on the Family directs routinely towards political causes, or what Falwell did before that. I think, in each case, that the ideology espoused is horrific. But I think it is within the bounds of what is acceptable for a religion to do, at least in a legal sense.
ETA: And anyway, given that the whole point of the marriage equality argument is "my legal rights are not at the whim of your morality," I figure let them be tax-exempt bigots in peace, and maybe someday they'll catch on to the whole live and let live thing.
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Date: 2008-11-08 01:36 am (UTC)I certainly understand your opinion. I've met plenty of people who would say the same thing about racist groups: we are never going to persuade them. I thought the same thing for awhile, but it turns out that I was wrong. (There was an article on the topic in the NYT today, I think, describing a study in which the prejudice of test subjects was measurably eroded by simple togetherness with another person. Kind of amazing and wonderful.)
I think once you've been on the receiving end of some ugly attitudes, yours is a natural conclusion to come to. But my experience--and I'm not speaking of myself, but of just about everyone I know--tells me that this conclusion is an unfair (albeit understandable) dismissal of an enormous segment of our society which has rejected--or is now rejecting--the values with which they were indoctrinated.
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Date: 2008-11-08 01:41 am (UTC)What I meant (and should perhaps have been more clear about) is that once the 2000s-born generation grow up, gay marriage will be like marrying beneath one's class or miscegenation.
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Date: 2008-11-08 12:46 pm (UTC)By the way, you may want to avoid that word, miscegenation. It connotes something other than what I think you intend to say. (Interracial marriage, probably?)
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Date: 2008-11-08 05:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 07:43 pm (UTC)Minor grammatical point, but you'd be doing your readers a service. (And thanks!)
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Date: 2008-11-08 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 04:23 am (UTC)I'm not suggesting that you not use the word. I'm suggesting that you signal to your readers that you are aware that this is a word that was coined specifically to denigrate interracial marriage. There may other ways to convey this than by using quotation marks. But your original paragraph doesn't make it clear that this is not a word that you, personally, would use to describe interracial marriage.
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Date: 2008-11-09 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 02:36 am (UTC)I do understand and respect your position, though. I wonder sometimes if I'm not too optimistic and if I have a tendency to want to appease people I should be fighting with. But for what it's worth, that's where I stand.
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Date: 2008-11-08 02:45 am (UTC)I think we need a multi-pronged strategy. Cut off the funding, then start to persuade people once the lies about gays recruiting kids aren't on the TV any more.
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Date: 2008-11-08 01:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 03:24 am (UTC)http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/politics&id=6495050
and the "print/text only" version:
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/politics&id=6495050&pt=print
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Date: 2008-11-08 04:02 am (UTC)Then they visited Salt Lake City just before those Olympics.
They noted that someone at the University cleverly chose to run loops of footage of the 1936 Berlin Olympics.
The message was simple when compared to what they experienced in person.
If you aren't Mormon, you are treated like shit, non-human, subpar.
For rather calm rational upper middle class people to change to actively disliking a cultural group takes work.*
Their answer now, to ringing doorbells is: "I'm sure that you are wonderful people individually, but we've been to Salt Lake City and we know how you treat outsiders there and we want nothing to do with it."
That being said - I agree with
You're not going to get much traction with/against Mormons (look up Jack Mormons). If you do manage to convince anyone, they'll get ostracized and shut out from their former community - its like the Catholic Church was during the MiddleAges in a way, there is that much power in the hierarchy).
Worth watching for ideas and laughs:
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*Canadians** tease and make fun of Americans (especially the redneck*** Republican end of things) to cajole and shame them into a more civilized**** way of doing things.
**Another Canadian friend puts it roughly this way: "I like Americans quite well, thank you, as long as they come in bunches of 10 or less. More than 10 gets these batshit crazy 'moral' and political ideas."
***A joke I heard in upper New York state goes along the lines of: the flag of the United States of America is red, white and blue for the following reason: red neck, white trash and blue collar.
****Ever read Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale"? It's used in English Literature classes in high school in Ontario and Quebec, and most teenagers understand the hint that this dystopia is what possibly awaits us if the Talibangelicals take power in the USA.
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Date: 2008-11-09 02:26 am (UTC)As something of an expert in mediaeval Christianity, I feel qualified to say that the Catholic Church didn't really resemble this simplistic stereotype. The technology didn't exist to surveille everyone; remember that surveillance is necessary for top-down, fascist-style, society-wide purges and witch hunts. There were, of course, hunts and purges, and no doubt there were plenty of backward small towns filled with xenophobic assholes. But if you compare the "power" of that "hierarchy" to, e.g., Stalin's (atheist!) regime, the Middle Ages suddenly start to seem pretty tame.
Mediaeval ignorance about the "official" rules that the elite were busy churning out in Rome or wherever was rampant -- even among clergy. Yes, the written sources that survive tend to be pretty shrill and chest-thumpy (though even they are more diverse than you might think). But take it from me, the social authority of those texts on the ground was often negligible in a far-flung and mostly-illiterate empire. Europe, like our world now, was a huge and complicated place, and "Catholicism" (as if that is even "a" thing) had room for lots and lots of different kinds of people.
I'm sorry your friends were treated badly in Utah. I don't see how that speaks against
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Date: 2008-11-08 04:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 04:26 pm (UTC)Like after a Berkeley parade, there was a group in the park talking about tolerance for all sorts of people except the military - they hated those people. Didn't sound all that tolerant to me.
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Date: 2008-11-08 05:41 pm (UTC)If your organization breaks the 501(c)3 rules, your organization does not deserve to be exempt from paying taxes. Period. And I support revoking the 501(c)3 status of the LDS Church.
I'd tentatively planned a trip to Utah next spring, as a part of the West I haven't visited yet. I plan to investigate businesses beforehand, so I know what businesses are owned by the LDS Church, or what businesses the LDS church has a stake in, because I can choose not to spend my money to support an organization that does not appear to recognize the separation between church and state.
I have never, never met somebody who was LDS and who was anything but kind, polite, and wonderful to speak and interact with, and it's a part of my religion to practice tolerance.
Tolerance does not mean being a doormat. Tolerance does not mean keeping your mouth closed regarding injustice. And the LDS Church broke the rules. I can see the differences between the LDS Church leadership and the LDS people I know and admire, and right now I am going to choose not to support the LDS Church.
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Date: 2008-11-08 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 10:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-08 09:59 pm (UTC)