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You see, no child of this generation will ever misunderstand Turkish Delight. They will never know in their hearts that it is dark and sinister and chocolatey and cinnamon-studded and caramel-crusted and smelling slightly of smoke and myrrh, that it absolutely melts on your tongue and shivers down your throat, no matter how the candy shop insists that the lump of powdered rosewater gelatin is the real thing. That, my friends, is tragic. I have the right to misunderstand it, like every other American child of my age, and to laugh at myself for my clinging to such a ridiculous misreading.
That, I understand.
Meanwhile, Slate informs us that Turkish Delight really tastes vile, after all.
***
Yes, I know that I owe some of you happy words. In fact, those of you whom I owe happy words are among my closest friends and deserve lots of happy words. They will come; don't worry.